


Illusive Reality

by an0neemouse



Category: Super Junior, Super Junior-M
Genre: Angst, Character Development, Drama, Eventual Happy Ending, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hallucinations, M/M, Past Relationships, Porn with Feelings, Romance, Smut, TBI, coffee shop AU, past angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-06-21 13:58:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15559239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an0neemouse/pseuds/an0neemouse
Summary: A chance encounter with a past boyfriend turns Kyuhyun's entire world upside down.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've posted this before on AFF but now I'm editing it and thought I would post it here as well. Hope you enjoy!

"Stop it, Min."  Kyuhyun says rolling over and giving his boyfriend the cold shoulder.  "I need to sleep; I've got to work early in the morning."

"But I thought you said you missed me today?"  Sungmin says in the cutest most innocent voice he can muster while still running seductive fingers over every patch of skin on Kyuhyun he can reach.

Kyuhyun whines in a thoroughly unmanly way and swats lightly at those devilish fingers.  "I did, but now I need to sleep."

"But won't you sleep better if you fuck me first?"  Sungmin asks, the filthy words slipping past his lips like honey pouring from a spoon.  Seeing the shiver that races down Kyuhyun's spine Sungmin knows that he has all but won the battle.  "You know you do.  C'mon, half an hour.  Give me half an hour and I'll have you so thoroughly blissed out that you'll sleep like a baby."

Growling low in his throat Kyuhyun rolls over, pinning Sungmin beneath him.  "Give me half an hour and I'll have you screaming my name."  

"That's all I want."  Sungmin purrs, a coy smile tugging up his lips as he rakes his sharp nails down Kyuhyun's back and then digs his fingers into the ample flesh of the other man's butt.  

Kyuhyun groans and arches into his lover, claiming the smaller man's lips in a bruising kiss.  Tracing his tongue along Sungmin's pouty lower lip Kyuhyun waits only for the other man to give him a little space before plunging his tongue insides to re-explore already mapped territory.  Nipping, licking, suckling, they tease each other until both of them are needy messes, hearts racing.

"No prep... just lube..."  Sungmin pants wriggling his pants off and pulling at Kyuhyun's at the same time.  "I need you now."

Grinning like a fool Kyuhyun helps Sungmin finish removing his pants before reaching for the bottle of lube on the nightstand and slathering up his cock with it, working his hand over the hard length a few times.  He moves to sit himself against the head board, slightly reclined with his legs spread comfortably.  "Get your ass over here, Min."

Sungmin shivers, and scrambles to do as he is told, crawling so that he is straddling Kyuhyun's hips, knees embedded in the soft mattress on either side of the taller man, their dicks brushing in the most tantalizing way imaginable.  With one long fingered hand Kyuhyun threads his fingers through the soft hair at the back of Sungmin's head and pulls him in for a passionate kiss, his other hand steadying his cock while Sungmin sinks down on it, gasping breathlessly into the kiss at the familiar stretch.  

"Oh god, Kyu!"  Sungmin moans feeling the other fill him completely, the stretch an intoxicating mixture of pleasure and pain.  Kyuhyun grits his teeth to keep himself from flipping Sungmin over and pounding recklessly into the tight heat enveloping his cock, fingers tightening to a bruising strength on Sungmin's thighs and hips.  

"Pull yourself up a bit, Min."  Kyuhyun grunts urging the small man to comply by lifting him slightly.  Sungmin slides up along Kyuhyun's length until only the head is still inside.  "Stay right there, Min."

Sungmin whimpers but does his best, holding himself up on his knees even while his thighs shake with need.  Just when he starts to get impatient and is tempted to buck down onto Kyuhyun again the other man finally takes matters into his own hands, thrusting upward, hitting Sungmin's prostate dead on causing the little man to cry out and toss his head back in a heartfelt moan at the sensation.  Kyuhyun continues in this way, bucking relentlessly into the other man with individual harsh thrusts, each one aimed to bring his lover as much pleasure as possible.

"Fuck!  Kyu!  M-more!"  Sungmin pants rocking his hips searching for anything that will give him more feeling than what he is already getting.  

"Greedy."  Kyuhyun pants working his hips faster.  He an feel the tell-tale tightening in his stomach indicating his impending orgasm, but he forces himself to hold on and wait for Sungmin to come first.  In order to expedite the process he winds his hand firmly around the other man's leaking cock and pumps it in time with his thrusts, knowing the other man is close by the way he mewls and his walls flutter around his cock.  "C'mon Min, just let go."

The words whispered hotly in his ear prove to be too much for Sungmin and he shoots his load hard, cum splattering on Kyuhyun's hand and both their chests.  It takes Kyuhyun only two more thrusts before he cums, white hot liquid searing Sungmin's insides.  His energy drains away with the last shuddering pulses of his orgasm and his muscles go weak. Kyuhyun collapses against the head of the bed and pulls Sungmin with him so he’s cradled against his chest. They simply lay there for a long minute, catching their breaths until Kyuhyun finally extricates himself from the tangle of blankets and limbs to go get a cloth to wipe himself and Sungmin down with so they can go to sleep.

When they are both clean they hunker into the bed, pulling the blankets up to cover themselves as they spoon in the middle all shallow breathing and lazy kisses.  

"I love you, Min."   Kyuhyun breathes dropping one last chaste kiss on his lovers lips.

"I love you too, Kyu.  You're the air I breathe and the sun on my face, without you I wouldn't be."  Sungmin answers voice slurred from sleep. Kyu chuckles lightly, a low rumbling sound in the quiet room.

"Go to sleep, you're starting to talk nonsense."  Kyuhyun chides absentmindedly reveling in the feeling of the other man tucked snuggly against his side as he slips off to dreamland.

~*~

When Kyuhyun wakes up Sungmin is nowhere to be found. He stretches and groans at the thought of getting up and exercising the way Sungmin likes to. No way.  Peeling himself from the bed Kyuhyun stumbles to the bathroom and turns on the shower to let the water warm up as he brushes his teeth.  He’s only just gotten his hair lathered up when Sungmin pokes his head in, the curtain framing his face comically to make it look like his head is floating disembodied.  

"Whatcha doin?!"  The smaller man chirps entirely too cheery for his own good, running high on endorphins.

"I'm hunting elephants."  Kyuhyun growls and attempts to glare but ends up getting soap in his eyes and tearing up.

"You poor little idiot, here, let me help you."  Sungmin says withdrawing his head just long enough to strip before stepping in to join the taller man under the stream, cupping his hands to funnel water to flow more gently across his eyes.  "Better?"

"Yeah, thanks."  Kyuhyun murmurs wrapping his arms around the smaller and burying his face in his wet shoulder.  "Mmmm, I love you."

"You love me, but you're my everything." Sungmin replies in a singsong voice and then wriggles away to start lathering up his own hair.  

"Whatever, always having to one up me."  The tall man gripes letting Sungmin go in favor of attacking his own body with a bar of soap. A wicked thought comes to him and he smirks at his lover.  "You want me to soap you up too?"

Sungmin’s low chuckle quickly turns into an undignified squeak when Kyuhyun immediately goes for his ticklish spots without waiting for an answer.  "Ah!  Nooo!!!  S-stop!"

He continues his attack, intentionally wiggling his fingers under the other’s arms under the guise of making sure the other was completely clean.  "Stand still Min, I can't get you clean if you keep wiggling like that!"

Sungmin tries his hardest to glare at Kyu’s smirk, but just can’t quite do it.  His lover is so serious most of the time that seeing him happy like this is too wonderful to really get upset, even if it meant that he is probably going to giggle until his sides hurt.  "Kyu, K-kyuhyun, s-s-stop!"

"If you surrender then I get to take my reward!"  Kyuhyun sings continuing to tickle torture his lover who is starting to find it hard to breath.

"Fine!  What do you want?!"  Sungmin concedes and heaves a sigh of relief when Kyuhyun immediately stops tickling him, his smile becoming positively beatific and just a little wolfish as he beams at his lover, reveling in the victory.

"You."  He says simply pressing a quick kiss to the shorter man’s lips. 

"Nu-uh, you have to go to work."  Sungmin reminds him pushing free and rinsing the soap from his body.

"Don't wanna."  Kyuhyun whines pouting like a child, lip sticking out comically as he advances on his lover who is quickly retreating from the shower.  "C'mon, Min!  You surrendered!"

"Nope!  I take it back!"  Sungmin declares wriggling free and making it out of the shower.  He quickly scoops up Kyuhyun’s towel and dries off with it before fleeing the bathroom to the sound of the tall man howling in rage over his now very wet towel and mildly frustrated state.  

"You are in so much trouble when I catch you!"  Kyuhyun yells through the door drying himself off as much as the damp towel will allow.  The only answer he gets is an impish giggle, the sound of rustling clothes, and then a quick farewell as the other man leaves the house.  

Kyuhyun finishes getting ready for work, pulling on his all black uniform before heading out the door, promising himself that Sungmin won’t walk for a week after what he has planned for tonight.  

Work is only a fifteen minute walk from the apartment and Kyuhyun makes the walk with happy steps, imagining everything he will do to Min when he gets home later.  He feels impervious to the fall chill that permeates the air making his breath come out in little puffs of white as he makes his way to the quaint little coffee shop where he works.  It’s still early, barely past five in the morning and most people have the decency to still be in bed so the streets are quiet.  The city is sleepy as he makes the walk through what normally would be crowded streets alone, enjoying the sound of his shoes tapping steadily on the sidewalk.  

His boss Shindong is already at the coffee shop when he gets there.  "Hey, Kyu!  How ya doing today?"

Kyuhyun grins at the plump man in the back.  He had only started the job about six months ago, but in that time he has gotten to know his boss and views him as something of a jovial father figure.  After hanging up his coat Kyuhyun goes into the kitchen and swipes a bit of the dough Shindong is mixing before answering the other over his protests.  "Marvelous!"

"How's Sungmin?"  Shindong asks tossing a clean apron to Kyuhyun who catches it deftly and puts it on, tying the black strings snugly.  

"He's good; he's visiting his family today."  Kyuhyun answers grabbing the spoon from Shindong and taking over stirring the cookie batter for the other man.  

"When am I going to get to meet him, Kyu?"  Shindong snarks pulling a pan of freshly baked brownies from the oven.  "I mean, you've been here for what, six months and I still haven't met him."

"He's busy.  He’s gone all the time for his job.  It's not like I'm hiding him!"  Kyuhyun chuckles beginning to scoop the cookies onto a cookie sheet.  

"I think you are!"  Shindong exclaims with mock affront, drizzling icing over the brownies.  "How does he feel about being hidden away from the world?!"

"I'm not hiding him!  He's a pilot, he's off flying around the world half the time, having adventures!"  Kyuhyun says flicking a chocolate chip at the other man and smirking gleefully as the little sweet bounces off Shindong's forehead and Shindong howls in exagerated rage.

"Whatever you say, Kyu.  I know you're hiding him."  Shindong answers snatching the full tray from Kyuhyun and placing it in the oven to bake.  This has been an ongoing joke of theirs from day one, one they both enjoy too much to put to rest.

At six thirty they open the shop and the usual tide of business men and women sweep through in search of their morning pick-me-up on their way to work.  By nine things are settling down again so that Kyuhyun and Shindong are able to clean the cafe and prepare for the lunch rush.  

"Hey, Shindong?"  Kyuhyun hollers over the sound of water filling the dish sink at the very back of the building. Being a bakery and café meant that there were more dishes than anything else and they know from experience that if they leave them for later they will never have enough time to get everything done. 

"What's up?"  Shindong says stacking cupcakes on a tray for display behind the counter.  

"Do we have anyone else coming in today to help with the lunch rush?"  Kyuhyun asks sighing a little as he sinks his hands into the warm soapy water.  

"Yeah, Heechul's coming in."  Shindong answers absently focusing on the cupcakes.  "I think he had a date last night, so I wouldn't be surprised if he's late."

Kyuhyun laughs at that and let the conversation drop.  It isn’t at all strange for Heechul to be late to work, especially not after a date since the older man has a proclivity for spending the night with whomever he has gone out with.  He lets his mind wander a little as he washed the dishes, thinking about his sex with Sungmin the night before and Sungmin's passionate albeit strange professions of love and devotion.

He is just finishing up the last dish when Shindong yells for Kyuhyun to come up front and start making coffee for the lunch rush.  Kyuhyun does as he’s asked, scooping beans and grinding them before setting up the urns for brewing.  

The bell on the door jingled signals the arrival of a customer and Kyuhyun turns in time to see a familiar man walk through the door.  

"Hey there, Siwon!  How's it going?"  Kyuhyun greets the tall, dark, well built man as he unwinds the scarf from around his neck and walks across the room and up to the counter. Siwon is tall and broad but compactly built with solid well muscled arms and legs. Dark hair accents his chiseled features that are currently split into a beatific grin at having seen the slimmer man.  

"The day just got a thousand times better now that I've seen you. "  Siwon says grinning happily as he sets his coffee mug on the counter.  "How's the day treating you?"

"You are the corniest person I've ever met."  Kyuhyun comments with a bemused smile, scooping up the mug and filling it with the dark coffee of the day knowing that Siwon preferred a bold brew to that ‘other watery swill people drink.’  "What do you want for lunch today?"

"How about a date."  Siwon answers waggling his eyebrows when the younger man hands him the mug.  

"You know I have a boyfriend."  Kyuhyun returns blushing to the roots of his hair and pulling back his hand quickly.

"That I do, and it only makes me like you more to know that you’ve never even considered cheating on him."  Siwon says with an adoring sigh, smile not wavering for a moment.  "Say, what does your boyfriend do anyway?"

"He's a student at the University."  Kyuhyun answers absently starting to put together Siwon's usual sandwich since the taller man never gave him an answer.  

"Oh?  What's he studying?"  Siwon asks leaning against the counter watching happily as Kyuhyun puts the sandwich together.

"Math."  Kyuhyun supplies slicing the sandwich in half.  "Do you want this for here or to-go?"  

"If I eat here can you take your break and sit with me?"  Siwon asks looking around the quiet shop.  

"I don't know if that is wise when you so blatantly flirt with me every time you come in here."  Kyuhyun says honestly bagging the sandwich up to-go.  He enjoys Siwon’s company, but he doesn’t want to give the man any false encouragement.

"Well, good thing because I don’t have the time to stay today anyways."  Siwon replies taking the bag and handing Kyuhyun his cash.  "No change.  I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll see you tomorrow Siwon."  Kyuhyun returns pocketing his tip before turning to wipe down the counter.  

As Siwon leaves Heechul walks in accompanied by a tall thin man with a prominent nose.  

"Is Siwon still in love with you, Kyu?"  Heechul asks teasing his dongsaeng as he drags the tall man into the room by their interlaced fingers.

"He is.  No matter what I do he just won't give up hope that one day I'll like him back."  Kyuhyun sighs scrubbing at a particularly stubborn spot on the counter. 

"Quixian?"  Says a voice that makes Kyuhyun's stomach drop and his eyes shoot up, finally taking in the man Heechul had brought into the shop.

"Mi."  Kyuhyun whispers voice suddenly hoarse, throat constricted with emotion.

"You two know each other?"  Heechul asks curiously glancing between Kyuhyun's pale face and Zhou Mi's shocked one.  

"Yeah, we were... friends."  Zhou Mi responds delicately, squeezing Heechul's finger's lightly trying to convey with his touch alone how very much this is not a good situation.

Kyuhyun snorts derisively feeling anger flare up in him instantaneously.  "Is that what you call it when you date someone for three years only to leave them when all they really need is a little support?"

"Why don't I let you two work out whatever it is you need to work out."  Heechul says extricating his fingers from Zhou Mi's and scampering into the back room without a backward glance.

They stand in silence for a moment, both feeling the past breathing down their necks.  Kyuhyun feels the hurt wash over him like it’s yesterday and suddenly he feels incredibly weak and tired.  "Just go away, Mi."

"I'm sorry, Quixian."  Zhou Mi whispers, voice just as choked as Kyuhyun's had been moments before.

"Don't you dare apologize.  Don't you fucking dare apologize!"  Kyuhyun grits out, eyes flashing angrily.  He can take a lot, but this is just too much, Zhou Mi has no right to apologize, not if it would assuage his guilt, he deserves to live with his guilt for the rest of his life in Kyuhyun's opinion.  "You knew what you were doing when you left.  And you didn't fucking care enough to stay, so don't you dare even think for a minute that I need your pathetic fucking apology."  

"I..."  Zhou Mi begins only to be cut off by an infuriated Kyuhyun.

"You what?  You didn't think you would hurt me?  You only left when I was unconscious in the hospital.  You only left a fucking note to tell me that you were breaking up with me because you couldn't handle being a real boyfriend."  Two years of pent up anger and frustration pour from Kyuhyun's mouth while angry tears fill his eyes but he refuses to let the tears fall in front of Mi.

"I was a coward."  Zhou Mi says, head hung low.  "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"You didn't."  Kyuhyun returns coldly, the lie leaving his lips easily.  "Just go away, Mi.  I didn't need you then and I don't need you now."

"I don't think I can go away."  Zhou Mi answers eyes flicking to the door that leads to the back room.  "I think I might be a bit invested with Heechul now."

"Yeah, you'll be with him until things get rough and then you'll run away."  Kyuhyun says knuckles white where he is gripping the counter.  

"Don't say things like that..."  Zhou Mi whispers hurt reflected in his eyes.  "I made a mistake, I'm so sorry."

"Why shouldn't I?  I don't owe you a thing."  Kyuhyun replies hardening his heart against the sadness on Zhou Mi's face.  

"Are you happy now, Quixian?"  Zhou Mi asks doing his best to ignore the way Kyuhyun is determined to stay mad at him.

"Yeah, I am.  I've got a great boyfriend who didn't give a shit about the accident, and I've got a good job."  Kyuhyun answers voice edgy, still tinged with anger.  

"Your boyfriend, what does he do?"  Zhou Mi asks hoping to be on more amicable terms.

"Why do you care?"  Kyuhyun demands eyes narrowing to slits.  

"I was just curious."  Zhou Mi replies hands going up as if to say that he means no harm.

"He's a nurse.  That's how I met him; he was one of my nurses."  Kyuhyun says defensively.  "He's the one who read your stupid note to me since I couldn't lift it myself with all my broken bones."

"I'm sorry."  Zhou Mi repeats tears gathering in his eyes.  "I really am.  I don't suppose you could ever forgive me, could you?"

"You don't deserve my forgiveness."  Kyuhyun says coldly watching the hurt and sadness flash across Zhou Mi's face before he masks it as best he can with a look of acceptance.

"I'm glad you're happy, Quixian.  I really do want you to be happy.  I'll go now."  Zhou Mi says turning for the door.  "Tell Heechul I'll see him after work."

"I'm not telling him a fucking thing from you."  Kyuhyun snaps turning and leaving the front room, letting the door to the back slam noisily behind him.  "Heechul, it's time for my break; you get to run the front for a bit."

"Kyu?"  Heechul says trying to get the younger man's attention as he practically flies through the back room and into the cooler where he likes to spend his breaks sometimes, tears leaving wet tracks down his face.  

"Let him go."  Shindong says when he sees that Heechul is about to follow the other man.  "Go man the front.  I'll check on him."

Heechul hesitates, worry evident on his face, but after a long moment decides to do as he is told and moves through the door to the front to deal with the small line that had formed since Kyuhyun came in back.  Plastering a smile on his face he pushes through the door.  "Hello there folks!  How can I help you?"

Shindong waits for a minute to make sure that Heechul will be fine without him and then makes his way to the cooler to deal with his distraught employee.  As he opens the door cool air hits him full force but what really catches his attention is the sound of Kyuhyun crying, something he has never seen or heard before.  

"Kyu?"  

Kyuhyun jumps and starts wiping at his face trying to remove the evidence of his tears, clearing his throat.  "I just need a minute, Hyung."

Stepping fully into the cooler Shindong lets the door fall closed behind him, eyes trained solely on Kyuhyun.  "You know I'm not one to pry.  I've never asked about your life before you started working here, but maybe it would help you to talk.  You know I'll listen if you want to get it off your chest."

"It's almost time for the lunch rush, Hyung, we need to go help Heechul."  Kyuhyun says eyes never quite reaching Shindong's.

Shindong sighs.  He isn’t entirely sure if Kyuhyun is simply making excuses not to talk, or if he wants to but feels that they need to go help Heechul.  Hesitating only a moment, Shindong pulls out his cell phone and punches in a couple of numbers.  

"Ryeowook?"  Shindong says into the phone when Ryeowook picks up on the other end.  "Can you and Yesung come down and work the lunch rush?"

"Let me ask Yesung real quick."  Ryeowook says.  Shindong can hear the chirping sound of the other man talking to Yesung through the line.  There is a slight crackle, the sound of the phone being picked back up and then Ryeowook is speaking to Shindong again.  "No problem, Hyung.  We'll be down in two minutes."

"Thanks, Wookie."  Shindong sighs, hanging up the phone.  Ryeowook and Yesung are two of his employees but unlike his other employees, they lived above the shop.  There are two apartment units above the coffee shop, one belonging to him, and to help keep costs low he rents out the other shop to the other two men who had had a terrible experience with a homophobic landlord at their last apartment.  The only thing they have to deal with having Shindong for a landlord was that if something goes wrong in the shop they are the first to be called, but neither of them really mind too much. Plus they are always given the genuine option to opt out whenever he called.

"C'mon Kyu.  We're gonna go up to my apartment.  I'll snag some coffee from out front and then you can talk, okay?"  Shindong says watching as Kyuhyun slowly peels himself off from the rack he had been sitting on.  The young man nodds but doesn’t say anything.  He appreciated everything that Shindong has done and is doing for him, so much that his tears threatened to start again if he opens his mouth.

Shindong does as he said, grabbing a couple of cups of coffee from the front while telling Heechul what is going on and then he and Kyuhyun make their way for the stairs that led to the apartments above.  They pass Ryeowook and Yesung on their way and finally make it to Shindong's apartment.  Plopping down at the table Shindong passes a cup of coffee to Kyuhyun and then instructs him to talk.

"I don't know where to start, Hyung."  Kyuhyun says cradling the cup of coffee between his hands and staring down at it as if it is the only thing in the world. "I've never actually talked about it."

"Then I would say the best place to start is the beginning."  Shindong sayskindly.

"Right.  Well, I guess the beginning was about five years ago..."  Kyuhyun says shrugging a little.  "Zhou Mi was an exchange student at my school and we just sort of fell in together.  We were both teased, see.  I was teased because I was an uber nerd with acne, and he was teased for being so unabashedly gay.  We met one day when we were both hiding in the library, trying to avoid the jocks who seemed to exist for making us miserable."  

"Zhou Mi is the man that Heechul is dating?"  Shindong asks wanting to be sure that he is following correctly.

"Yeah.  I haven't seen him in two years and honestly I would have liked to keep it that way."  Kyuhyun says taking a sip from the steaming cup in his hands.  

"So you and Zhou Mi met; what then?"  Prompts the older man, not wanting to disrupt Kyuhyun's story anymore than he already has.

"It was sort of an unspoken agreement that we would meet in the library everyday, and we did.  We started talking, getting to know each other, and then we just sort of started dating.  Neither of us asked the other, we just knew we were a couple.  We decided that May tenth should be our anniversary, since neither of us really knew exactly when we really started dating.  Anyway, after high school we got an apartment and moved in together."

"We went to the same school and everything.  We were both music majors, but I was more into writing and he was more into performance.  He used to say that we would be famous together.  I could write the music and he could perform it.  Then on our three year anniversary we were going to go out for dinner.  I was running late so I told him that I would just meet him at the restaurant, but as I was rushing to get there I was hit by a car when I was crossing the street."  Kyuhyun says ruefully.  "I was told after I woke up that I had been out for almost three months.  But when I woke up, see, I was alone."  

"Wait, what about your parents?"  Shindong asks brows furrowed.  

"No, they disowned me when I told them I was gay, when I introduced Zhou Mi as my boyfriend."  Kyuhyun answers; dark eyes sad.  

"And what about him?  Where was Zhou Mi?"  Shindong asks with a sinking feeling in his stomach.  He doesn’t understand Kyuhyun's parents or the rampant homophobia that plagues most of Korea which is why his shop has become something of a haven for his employees, all of whom were gay.

"He wasn't there either."  Kyuhyun replies a tear slipping from his eye to leave a wet trail down his cheek.  "He left a note that the nurse had to read to me because I couldn't hold the paper up to read it myself."  

"What?!"  He left you a note?"  Shindong says in disbelief.  "He had just gone out for a bit, right?  He didn't just leave, did he?"  

"Yeah, he did."  Kyuhyun says with his head in his hands, voice broken with tears.  "I had broken or sprained every finger in my right hand, broke my left arm in two places, had three broken ribs, my right leg was bruised to the bone, and parts of my skull had shattered leaving me with a severe traumatic brain injury, and all he left to say he was breaking up with me was a lousy fucking note."

Shindong's mouth hangs open.  He knew that Kyuhyun had at one point had some bad injuries, but he had no idea they were that bad.  And Zhou Mi just leaving a note, he can’t really think of a lower act.  "What did the note say?"

"It said that he was sorry, that he knew he was being a coward, but that he couldn't stay, that he was scared.  He told me that he loved me; that he always would, but that he just couldn't stay because he was scared."  Kyuhyun says, voice wooden.  "Tell me, if he really loved me then why did he leave?  His love should have mattered more than his fear."

"Yes, it should have."  Says a melodic voice from the doorway.  Both Kyuhyun's and Shindong's heads snap up, eyes wide with shock.  There in the doorway stands Zhou Mi with Heechul.  Presumably Yesung and Ryeowook are downstairs manning the store.  

"What the fuck, Heechul?"  Shindong says in a rare display of anger.

"Please, it's my fault."  Zhou Mi says stepping forward as if he was protecting Heechul from something more than Shindong's anger.  "I practically begged him to bring me up here."

"What do you want, Mi?"  Kyuhyun asks not even bothering to wipe at the tears that are streaming freely down his cheeks.  The look of hurt in his eyes makes Zhou Mi feel like the smallest creature imaginable.  Kyuhyun had loved him and he had betrayed that love in a moment of weakness.  

"I want to apologize."  Zhou Mi answers suddenly finding himself without the words.  "I know I hurt you, I'm so so sorry."

"You already apologized, just leave me alone."  Kyuhyun answers brow furrowed wanting nothing more than to disappear and never have to deal with Zhou Mi or any of this stuff ever again.  

"I can't.  I can't just leave you alone, Kyu.  Not when I know that as hurt as you look right now you are feeling ten times worse on the inside.  I used to know you, remember?  I used to be your best friend."  Zhou Mi says, the reminiscence making his voice even sadder.  

"Used to know me, used to.  As in you don't anymore."  Kyuhyun says putting on his best act of uncaring.   

"Yeah, but something like that doesn't change, not even over the space of two years.  In this way I still know you."  Zhou Mi says taking another step forward feeling his stomach sink when Kyuhyun cringes away from him.  

"So what if I'm hurting, you can't undo what's been done."  Kyuhyun says looking at the cup of coffee he’s gripping as if it were a lifeline.  

"No, I can't undo the past."  Zhou Mi replies thankful that Heechul and Shindong are remaining silent for the time being.  "But I can beg for you will give me a chance to prove how sorry I truly am."

"How?"  Kyuhyun asks sniffling a little.

"Let me be your friend.  I know I can't undo the past, and I know that you won't be able to trust me for a long long time, but please just give me a chance."  Zhou Mi bites his lip hoping against hope that Kyuhyun will agree. 

"I can't." Kyuhyun whispers head hung low.  "I can't."

"Please."

"I won't be your friend, but I won't pick fights anymore either."  Kyuhyun concedes feeling as though something inside him is breaking.  

"I personally promise that you will be one dead man if you hurt either of my employees."  Shindong growls finally breaking his silence.  

Heechul sighs dramatically stepping forward to link his fingers with Zhou Mi's.  "Oh good, now that that is done, let's go downstairs.  Maybe after work you can call Sungmin, Kyu, and we can all go get something to eat together."

"I can't, Sungmin's on duty tonight."  Kyuhyun answers absently taking a sip from his coffee, mind going over what he just agreed to with Zhou Mi.

"On duty?"  Heechul asks exchanging puzzled looks with Zhou Mi and Shindong.

"Oh, you mean at the hospital."  Zhou Mi supplies when it clicks.

"I thought he was visiting his parents."  Shindong says brow furrowed in confusion.

"What are you guys talking about?"  Kyuhyun says brow furrowed as nothing but pure confusion graces his face.  "Sungmin's on duty tonight.  He's a cop."

"You said he's a pilot."  Shindong says.

"I thought you said he was a nurse."  Zhou Mi says.

"You told me he was a business man."  Heechul says.  

All three men looked at each other nothing but confusion on their faces.  What is going on?   Is Kyuhyun lying to them?  

"What the hell guys?"  Kyuhyun says feeling weirdly betrayed.  "I never said anything like that!  Why are you guys making stuff up?"

"We're not; you told me this morning that he's a pilot."  Shindong says feeling the beginnings of worry creep over him.  

Kyuhyun freezes thinking back to the morning.  He wants to say that he hadn't told Shindong anything like that but he vaguely remembered saying it.  A look of fear crosses his face and he looks at all three of his hyungs.  "Hyung?"

"Kyu, what does Sungmin do?"  Heechul asks worried that Kyuhyun's boyfriend is doing something illegal.  

"I... I don't... I don't know."  Kyuhyun says with heart breaking honesty, fear clearly shining from his eyes.  "Hyung, I don't know... how... how is that possible?"

"How long has Sungmin been with you?"  Zhou Mi asks finally speaking up, a conversation from two years ago coming back to him.  

"Since the accident."  Kyuhyun answers happy to have a question he knows the answer to.  

"When after the accident?"  Zhou Mi presses hearing the doctor's words echo in his mind.

"I... I don't know..."  Kyuhyun looks around scared.  "What's going on?"

Zhou Mi's eyes slide closed.  He knows what was going on, but he doesn’t want to say anything.  Life is about to get a whole lot worse for Kyuhyun.  

"Kyuhyun, before you woke up I had a talk with one of the doctors."  Zhou Mi begins choosing his words carefully and making sure that Kyuhyun is paying attention.  "He explained a few things about your injury to me."

"What are you talking about, Mi?  I'm healed!  Sungmin has nothing to do with the accident!"  Kyuhyun cries exasperatedly.

"The doctor explained what can happen with a traumatic brain injury like yours."  Zhou Mi pauses briefly to make sure he has everyone's attention.  Shindong and Heechul are both looking a bit scared, as if Kyuhyun had just grown a second head.  "He explained that because of the location of the damage, you could have... hallucinations."  

"What are you saying?"  Kyuhyun demands, eyes begging the other to say nothing. He stands up, backing away from the table until he hist a wall, hands coming up as if to cover his ears.  

"I'm saying that Sungmin doesn't exist."  Zhou Mi answers wanting so badly to hold Kyuhyun and make it better, but knowing that he isn’t allowed to do that anymore.  

"No!"  Kyuhyun yells covering his ears and curling into a ball much like a small child would. Panic spikes, making his breath constrict.  "WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!"

"I'm sorry, Kyuhyun, but you know it's true.  I wish it wasn't but it is."  Zhou Mi says taking a step forward and extending his hand as if he was going to touch Kyuhyun, but dropping it when he thinks better of the action.  

"No, you're lying!"  Replies the broken man, panic etched in every line of his face.  "Admit it!"

"I'm not, Kyu-"  Zhou Mi breaks off, choked, he doesn’t know what else to say.  

"C'mon, Kyu.  We'll work this out."  Shindong says hoping to calm the younger man down some.  His words have the opposite effect.  Instead of calming Kyuhyun stands up, shaking with suppressed emotion as he faces the three men, two of whom he thought were his friends.

"No.  You are all lying!  There's nothing to work out because Sungmin HAS to exist."   Kyuhyun screams stumbling for the door.  Heechul makes a feeble attempt to stop him, but Kyuhyun just keeps walking, storming down the stairs and out of the coffee shop, completely heedless of Yesung and Reowook's confused questions as to whether or not he is alright.  


	2. Chapter 2

"Shit.  Shit.  Shit.  Shit.  Shit.  SHIT!"  Kyuhyun curses pacing his front hallway after he finally made it home.  "SUNGMIN!"  

He isn’t really surprised when there’s no answer, Sungmin was supposed to be out for the day so it doesn’t come as a shock.  Digging out his cell phone he is determined to prove his hyungs wrong.  He scrolls through his contacts, grinning victoriously when he finds Sungmin's number.  The phone rings once, then twice, then a third time before a woman's voice comes through the line.  

"Yoboseo?"  She answers voice polite.

"Uh... hi... um... is Sungmin there?"  Kyuhyun asks as worry begins to creep back into his mind.

"Sungmin?  No, there's no Sungmin here."  The woman says politely.  "You must have a wrong number."

"No, this has to be the right number."  Kyuhyun responds adamantly.  "I know this is Sungmin's number."

"I've had this phone number for five years, sir, and there has never been anyone by the name of Sungmin in my life.   I'm sorry but you have the wrong number."  The woman's voice is a bit frosty as if she thinks he’s prank calling her.

"No."  Kyuhyun says blindly pocketing his phone and stumbling through the apartment.  "SUNGMIN!!!"

He isn’t really sure what he thinks he’ll achieve by yelling for the other man, but he yells anyway.  He stumbles through the apartment, searching for his boyfriend or any sign that another person even lives here.  Much to his dismay and eternal panic he finds nothing and no one.  

The closet holds only his clothes, the shower only his soap, the sink only his toothbrush, and the rug by the door only has one set of shoes.  Panicking he runs to the kitchen, sure that they had had dinner together the night before, but only finds one set of dishes in the sink.  

"No-"  Kyuhyun sobs clutching his head in his hands as his knees give out and he collapses onto the stark white linoleum in the kitchen.  "God, no.  Someone's playing a sick joke on me."

He stays there for the rest of the day and well into the night, hoping against hope that Sungmin will come home, but the other man never does.  Alone, cold, and sore Kyuhyun drags himself off to bed, crawling between the sheets wishing they would comfort his mind and heart as much as they comfort his aching body.  Pulling his pillow to his chest, he huggs it there, trying to pretend it is Sungmin he’s holding, but the soft plushy just isn’t the same even though he knows somewhere in his mind that he has been hugging this pillow for two years.  

~*~

"Hi, Siwon!"  Shindong greets his most loyal customer as the tall man comes in through the door, a swirl of brisk autumn air following him in.

"Hey, Shindong, where's Kyu?"  Siwon asks brow furrowing with disappointment when Kyuhyun doesn’t immediately appear from the back room.  

"He's gonna be out for a few days."  Shindong shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot, eyes downcast.

"Is he okay?  He's not sick is he?"  Siwon asks instantly concerned.  

"To be honest I'm not sure, but I don't really think it's my place to say."  Shindong answers filling Siwon's cup for him.

"Have you checked up on him at least?"  Siwon asks taking the proffered mug and handing over his money, not bothering to order a sandwich.  

"I've tried but he won't answer his phone."  Shindong admits feeling about two inches tall.

Siwon pauses for a moment thinking.  "Should I just butt out or would it be okay if I checked on him?"

"I think that would be good.  Do you know where he lives?" Relief floods Shindong, glad that Siwon is going to check on Kyuhyun.

Siwon shakes his head.  He’s in love with Kyuhyun, but no part of it is creepy or stalkerish.  He really does respect that Kyuhyun has a boyfriend and so does not push his luck which means that beyond coming to see Kyuhyun at the shop every day, Siwon gives the other man his space.  Sure he teases about wanting a date, but if he were being honest with himself he would have been very disappointed if Kyuhyun had ever said yes.  He values loyalty and fidelity too much to compromise that, even if he was the one coming out of it with a boyfriend.  

"Here."  Shindong takes a slip of receipt paper and writes the address down.  As he’s handing the slip over though he pulls back slightly just as Siwon's fingers are closing on it so that the other man looks up at him, questions swimming in those sharp dark eyes.  "He needs a friend right now; this isn't a time for you to flirt.  If you really care you will prove it by just being a friend."

"I don't just care; I love him... so much.  I would never do anything to hurt him.  He needs a friend then that is what I will be."  Siwon says gently but with great conviction.  "I really, truly love him enough that as long as he is happy that is all I need."

Shindong stares hard at Siwon for a long moment but then nods and relinquishes his hold on the address.  "I don't think he'll be happy for a while."

Siwon's ever expressive brows furrow at the cryptic comment, but he doesn’t ask, instead he bids Shindong a good day and leaves the shop, making his way towards his car with swift strides.  Shindong's directions are very concise so he finds the apartment with no trouble.  Parking on the street out front Siwon quickly covers the four flights of stairs leading to Kyuhyun's place. Finding the appropriate number he raps on the door with his knuckles, listening to shuffling from within.

"Sungmin?!" Comes Kyuhyun's voice from the other side of the closed portal.  Siwon's heart clenches instinctively at the anxiety in the other man’s voice and again when his face goes from exquisite hope to heartbreaking disappointment upon opening the door and seeing Siwon, not Sungmin standing there.  "Oh God, they were right."

"They were right about what?"  Siwon asks in alarm, suddenly fearing that Shindong had neglected to tell him something or that he himself was part of the problem.  "Kyuhyun, what's going on?  I just came by to see if you are alright."

"Oh, God."  Kyuhyun cries backing away blindly.  Siwon doesn't know if he should follow or get out of there, unsure if he himself is part of the problem.  He watches as the slim man rubs viciously at his eyes with the heels of his hands, looking for all the world like a petulant child and were the situation not so serious Siwon would have found it absolutely adorable.  

"Kyuhyun, did you and Sungmin get in a fight?"  Siwon asks taking a step over the threshold and into Kyuhyun's apartment.  It’s exactly as Siwon expected.  The apartment fits Kyuhyun so perfectly it’s practically an extension of the man himself.  The furniture is old and worn, most likely purchased at a second hand store.  The walls hold a few pictures and the windows some old curtains that look better suited to a country kitchen than to an apartment in Seoul.  The only items in the house that look to be truly well cared for and of expensive quality are the tv, computer, and gaming consoles.  

"What?"  Kyuhyun asks confused.

"Did you and Sungmin have a fight?"  Siwon repeats worry coursing through him at how out of it Kyuhyun seems.  

"Zhou Mi said he doesn't exist."  Kyuhyun sobs throwing himself into Siwon's surprised but willing arms.  Siwon feels more confused than ever but knows that his answers will just have to wait.  He soothes Kyuhyun's hair and rubs a comforting hand firmly against his back while Kyuhyun sobs, completely taken over by distress.  

"Shhh.  Hey, whatever it is, it's gonna be okay.  We'll work it out, okay?"  Siwon soothes trying his best to ignore his own pounding heart at finally being able to hold Kyuhyun even though it’s not at all how he had envisioned it.  After a few minutes Kyuhyun's tears begin to subside.  "I need you to calm down and tell me what happened, Kyu."

Slowly Kyuhyun looks up and Siwon watches, helpless as realization of what he’s doing and who he’s with dawns on the slim man.  Kyuhyun jerks in Siwon's arms, hands coming up to push on the taller man's chest, more tears leaking from the corners of his crinkled eyes.  

"I'm sorry, I – I shouldn't have done that."  Kyuhyun says eyes wide and panicky, flitting around the room, looking at everything but Siwon.  

"It's okay.  It's fine.  I came to see if you're all right and obviously you are not."  Siwon responds feeling cold and empty without Kyuhyun held close.  

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea."  Kyuhyun whispers looking at his feet.

"Oh."  Siwon says as realization hits him.  "It's okay, Kyu.  I know you love Sungmin.  I'm just a friend today."

"Promise?"  Kyuhyun asks voice tiny and scared.  

"I promise."  Siwon reassures heart in his eyes.  "What happened, Kyu?"

"Mi showed up and..."  Kyuhyun begins only to be cut off by a confused Siwon.

"Wait, who's Mi?"  Siwon asks brows furrowed in confusion.

"Zhou Mi.  He's my ex."  Kyuhyun sobs exasperatedly as if adding the extra details is too trying for him.  "He left me after the accident."

"What accident?"  Siwon presses knowing this is hard for Kyuhyun, but not understanding.  

Kyuhyun takes a deep breath trying to steady himself.  "You better come in – this is gonna take a while."

Once they’re settled on Kyuhyun's very worn couch Kyuhyun begins again, starting from the beginning, telling Siwon the whole story.  He tells of how he and Zhou Mi met, when they dated, the accident, and then waking up alone in the hospital.  He talks about Sungmin's appearance and then his and Zhou Mi's fight followed by Zhou Mi's assertion that Sungmin doesn’t exist.

Siwon is a great audience.  He has a small smile playing around his mouth when Kyuhyun talks about how happy he had been, then his brows furrow and a look of pain crossed his face when the other man talks about the accident.  Anger registers when Kyuhyun tells him about Zhou Mi's disappearance and then his reappearance.  And finally he gasps in disbelief when Kyuhyun says that Sungmin doesn’t exist.

"That's-but-. doesn't he live here with you?"  Siwon asks, grasping at the idea of Sungmin's existence almost as fiercely as Kyuhyun had.  "C'mon, there has to be some of his things here then, right?"

And Siwon drags Kyuhyun through the apartment taking much the same route that Kyuhyun had the night before, looking for any evidence that another man lives in the place but finding none.  "Oh God."

Kyuhyun hangs back looking and feeling exhausted as realization finally hit Siwon.  "He doesn't exist, does he, Siwon?"

"I..."  Siwon begins unwilling to finish and say that he doesn’t think so.  "Kyuhyun, have you gone to see your doctor?"

"..."  Kyuhyun is quiet, face turned down, ashamed.  

"Hey, it's okay."  Siwon says stepping forward and enveloping the smaller man in a tight hug.  His heart is breaking watching the other man fall apart.  He loves him so much and it hurts to be unable to just fix it.  When Kyuhyun's tears once again die down Siwon pulls back, snaking an arm around Kyuhyun's shoulders and shepherds him towards the door and his shoes.  "C'mon.  You need to see your doctor."

Kyuhyun balks a little.  It isn’t that he’s unwilling to see the doctor, but he’s scared.  While he staysaway, while he stays here in his apartment waiting for Sungmin's return he can convince himself that Sungmin has just gone away for a little while, but if the doctor tells him what Zhou Mi had – if he tells him that Sungmin doesn’t exist... he’s afraid that his whole world will implode.  

"I'm not gonna leave you."  Siwon says taking a moment to look Kyuhyun in the eyes.  What he sees there is pure, unadulterated fear.  "I'm with you through this whole thing.  Whatever the doctor says, we'll work it out, okay?  I'll be right here.  A friend as long as you want me."

Once again tears leak from Kyuhyun's scrunched eyes, sliding down his cheeks to wet his shirt.  Siwon sighs, reaching up with gentle hands to wipe the little droplets away.  

"I'm scared."  Kyuhyun whispers huge eyes begging Siwon to understand.  

"I know."  Siwon answers cradling Kyuhyun to his chest.  "But we're gonna get through this together, okay?"

~*~

Weeks pass.  The doctor said exactly what Zhou Mi had said he would and Kyuhyun is forced to accept the fact that the last two years of his life had been made up in his head.  He quits his job, although Shindong refuses to accept that, telling the younger that he can come back whenever he wants, that the job would always be there for him.  He moves out of his apartment, unable to take the feeling of memory there, the feeling that he and Sungmin had lived there together although the other man never even existed.

 And Siwon welcomes him into his home and his life, never once breaking from the role of friend.  He still loves Kyuhyun more than he can say, but he know that this is what Kyuhyun needs, might always need, and he’s okay with that as long as he gets to be in his life.  

They pass a lot of time together since Kyuhyun no longer likes to be alone.  Frequently Kyuhyun will ask others if they can see Siwon and they would always answer, brows furrowed with confusion, that they could in fact see him, talk to him, and touch him.  And in that way Kyuhyun comes to lean heavily on the other, needing him for the companionship and support he provides.  

True to his word Zhou Mi stays away.  He had tried once to see Kyuhyun again, but after Siwon threatened to rip him limb from limb for all the pain he had caused the younger man he opted to stay away, wishing Kyuhyun the best on his way out the door with Heechul.  

Every once in a while Kyuhyun still sees Sungmin.  The other man appearing when Kyuhyun gets really tired, or when he forgets to take the anti-hallucinogenic medication the doctor had given him.  Those appearances are always bad, leaving Kyuhyun a sobbing shaking mess that Siwon holds and comforts until the tremors pass and Sungmin disappears again.  
~*~  
“Don’t you love me anymore?!” Sungmin shrieks when Kyuhyun tries to ignore his appearance, beautiful face a mask of anger and tears. But no matter how sad Sungmin looks Kyuhyun always hurt more. He sobs and covers his ears, collapsing into a corner trying to protect himself.   
“You don’t exist, Min. I love you but you don’t exist.” Kyuhyun reasons futilely, for how does one reason with their own damaged mind? He knows that he has to remind himself that Sungmin doesn’t exist; it is, after all, only his mind playing tricks on him. But God, Sungmin looks so real! He wants to hold him, to feel him, to simply be with him again.  
“Is Sungmin here, Kyu?” Siwon asks concern etched on every line of his face. At first this would happen all the time. It seemed for a while that every time Kyuhyun turned around the imaginary man would be there, tormenting him.   
“I exist, Kyuhyun! That’s just a lie you made up so that you could cheat on me with Siwon! How could you do this to me?!” Sungmin cries, ranting at the slim man who collapses in on himself for protection. His mind creates the lies, lies he can’t stomach, lies that make it so that Sungmin can exist; even if it makes him the villain.  
Siwon watches the hurt and horror flash across Kyuhyun’s face, he feels powerless to stop it, powerless to help. Grabbing the other man by the shoulders Siwon speaks, urgently, never breaking eye contact. “Listen to me, Kyu. Whatever he says, whatever he’s saying; it’s a lie. You don’t have to live like this. We’re gonna get through this, okay? Me and you, okay?”  
“I-I didn’t cheat on you, Minnie. I couldn’t. I love you!” Kyuhyun sobs heart breaking over and over and over again. He knows what he has to do; he has to keep reminding himself that Sungmin doesn’t exist. He consciously has to accept that fact and move on with his life. But it’s tearing him apart. It’s breaking his heart. “But you don’t exist. I have to go on- go on with my life.”  
It isn’t the first time Kyuhyun and Sungmin have this conversation. Siwon knows full well that although they have only ever functioned as friends Kyuhyun feels like he’s cheating on Sungmin. He wants Siwon around, needs him even, but regardless his subconscious torments him relentlessly about it. He presses a glass of water and a pill into Kyuhyun’s hands. “Here, Kyu. Take these meds. Take them and he’ll go away.”  
“How can you go on without me?” Sungmin asks quietly, fading in the light of Kyuhyun’s resolve.   
“I have to, Sungmin.” Kyuhyun whispers looking up to see the small man flickering from sight. He puts the pill in his mouth and chases it with a gulp of water from the glass, tears shining in his eyes as he does so, knowing that the pill will be the end of his time with Sungmin. “I have to because you don’t exist.”  
As the pills dissolve into Kyuhyun’s system Sungmin fades completely from view leaving Kyuhyun broken and sobbing in the wake of his disappearance.  
“Shhh, Kyu, It’s gonna be okay.” Siwon says holding the broken man to his chest and smoothing his hair from his face as he sobs uncontrollably. “It’s gonna be okay. I’m so proud of you.”   
~*~ 

Months go by and slowly Kyuhyun puts his life back together.  He doesn’t move out of Siwon's home, knowing that the other man doesn’t mind his presence one bit.  He goes back to work with the promise that Zhou Mi, although a new fixture in the cafe, will not bother him or bring up the past.  

Siwon goes back to his own job as well, still stopping in to the cafe to see Kyuhyun as often as possible.  But now when he comes in Kyuhyun takes his breaks and sits with him, talking about the day.  Sometimes they sit at one of the tables, drinking coffee, and laughing over the newspaper comics that Siwon brings with him, and sometimes they go for walks underneath the blossoming trees of spring, hiding from the world while Kyuhyun bares his soul for the millionth time to the taller man.  

Each night at close Siwon appears at the cafe to pick Kyuhyun up and together they make their way home to eat the take out that Siwon had grabbed before going to get Kyuhyun.  They sit on the floor in the living room using the coffee table as a dining table and eat with the crappy wooden chopsticks that came with the meal, laughing and trying each other's food.  And when the moon is high in the sky, their eyes drooping, they make their way to their own bedrooms, side by side, but separate.  

Then one particular night in May Kyuhyun is sitting across from Siwon, picking at his food.  The other watches him, careful not to get caught in his observations.  He watches the other man push his food around on his plate, lost deep in thought, eyebrows scrunched.

"What are you thinking about, Kyu?"  Siwon asks, finally unable to take the tension any longer.

Kyuhyun jumps as if forgetting the other was there.  "I- well- I'm not sure how to explain."

"Just do your best."  Siwon says kindly, stomach dropping as he suspects the other is about to tell him that he wants to move out.  

"I haven't seen Sungmin for over a year now."  Kyuhyun muses, eyes trained on his food that he’s still pushing around.  

"That's really good, Kyu."  Siwon says trying his best to be supportive even while his heart breaks at the idea of the other man leaving him.  

"So I've been thinking-"  Kyuhyun begins slowly. 

'Here it comes.'  Siwon thinks steeling himself for the worst.  

"Do you still love me?"  Kyuhyun asks startling Siwon out of his self imposed misery.

"What?"  Siwon asks head snapping up, confused eyes trying desperately to connect with Kyuhyun's downcast ones.

"Do- do you- do you still love me?"  Kyuhyun asks flushing bright red.

"Yes.  Always."  Siwon answers immediately, mouth slightly agape as he stares in wonder at the other man.

"M-more than a person- more than a person loves a friend?"  Kyuhyun presses staring at his broccoli as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.  

"Yes, Kyu, always."  Siwon repeats patiently.  "What's this about?"

"I- Well, I've been thinking-"  Kyuhyun says picking again at his food.  "I've been thinking and- I just- I don't know how to say- I feel like I might love you too..."

Kyuhyun looks up as he says the last part, eyes finally locking with Siwon's shocked and elated ones.  "I feel like I finally have a heart to give, and I'll never find someone who will stand by me the way you have-"

Before he can go on Siwon is there, kneeling before him, cradling his face tenderly in his hands, searching his eyes for any uncertainty.  He finds none, only shy affection and the natural fear that comes with something new and uncharted.  "Oh, Kyu-"

Siwon pulls Kyuhyun to his chest and holds him there, much as he had so many times in the past, but this time it’s different, this time he knows that the man in his arms is his to hold, his to love, his to cherish.  And Kyuhyun feels as if he’s being held by the missing part of his heart, and in that moment he feels complete.  They stay like that for a long time, just holding each other, both sniffling back tears.  

"Siwon?"  Kyuhyun mumbles after what feels like an eternity has passed.  

"Yeah, Kyu?"  Siwon responds shifting so that he is speaking with his lips pressed against the smaller man's lamby hair.

"Will you kiss me?"  Kyuhyun asks shyly pressing his face into the other's chest.  

Siwon's chuckle rumbles deep and soothing under Kyuhyun's ear for just a moment before Siwon tilts Kyuhyun's face up to meet his own.  Kyuhyun's breath hitches for just a moment before Siwon presses their lips together, soft firmness sliding sweetly against one another as a seal to their new found love.    
When they finally break the kiss Kyuhyun looks up at Siwon again, eyes shy but determined.  "I love you."

"I love you too, Kyu."  Siwon responds with a soft smile, one hand petting gently over the other man's auburn locks.  "I always have and I always will."


	3. Chapter 3

Siwon falls backward onto his and Kyuhyun's shared bed, the other man landing on top of him a tangled mess of limbs and sloppy kisses.  The events leading up to this are still a bit fuzzy in Siwon's brain only made worse by the way Kyuhyun keeps mewling needily into his mouth every time he thinks the other man isn’t paying close enough attention to him.  It isn’t that he doesn’t want to pay attention, and the smaller man is making it damn hard not to with the way he keeps swirling his tongue and nibbling on Siwon's bottom lip, it’s just that he is a little worried with how fast things are moving right now.  

They share a bed.  Sleep together.  Sleep together.  As in sleep cuddled around each other after exchanging lazy kisses and even lazier talk about their days.  But in the year they’ve been together they have not yet had sex.  Siwon doesn’t want to push Kyuhyun into anything he isn’t ready for even if he is currently struggling with a morning masturbation problem.  He wants him like he has never wanted someone before.  He wants intimacy that they have not as of yet achieved.  They are intimate in all other ways, but he craves for something more, for the next step.  

For Kyuhyun it’s a little more complicated.  He’s no blushing virgin but neither does he have much experience, far from it in fact.  He’s only actually been with one person, not counting his experiences with Sungmin since those were just his damaged mind's way of soothing his wounded heart and head.  And he wants some sort of balance between his two "experiences."    With Zhou Mi it had always been an elaborate and ultimately unsatisfying battle for dominance that Kyuhyun inevitably would lose and end up feeling dissatisfied and mildly humiliated by Zhou Mi's gloating pleasure.  And with Sungmin... the problem was that Sungmin had just been in his head.  More than the fact that the man was imaginary, but that he had become the epitome of a mutually beneficial relationship in Kyuhyun's mind while remaining ultimately one sided in all of the affections and intimacy expressed.  

It’s been one year of being in a relationship.  One year since Kyuhyun told Siwon that he loves him too.  They’re celebrating their anniversary by going to a posh new restaurant in the heart of Seoul, one that Siwon claims had gotten rave reviews from critics who praised their exotic combinations and culinary delights while Kyuhyun thinks it’s more of a strange mix of foods that only makes them more questionable to his pallet.  Overall though their dinner is quite enjoyable, romantic and sweet in a way that only Siwon can achieve.  They sit a remote table, tucked away in the shadows beyond the judgmental eyes of Seoul's homophobic elite.

Once in Siwon's car on the way home Kyuhyun finds himself fidgeting in his seat.  He wants to take things to the next step; he wants to have sex with Siwon, to solidify, to express his affections in ways that words cannot say.  But trying to put that into words has him squirming in his seat like a small child who was sent to the principal's office after putting bubble gum in their teacher's hair.  

"What's on your mind, Kyu?"  Siwon asks weaving his fingers with the other man's and rubbing his thumb soothingly over Kyuhyun's knuckles.

"I-"  But that's all the farther Kyuhyun gets.  He swallows thickly trying to figure out how to voice what he wants.  It doesn’t feel right to just ask Siwon to fuck him, but neither does it feel right to ask Siwon to make love to him.  No matter how he says it it seems either too cheesy or too crass.  He just wants it to happen, but it’s been a year and both of them are too hesitant to say what they want so now Kyuhyun is stuck with the duty of trying to guide them in the right direction.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me."  Siwon says feeling the first little bits of worry creep over him, tightening his stomach as he glances out of the corner of his eye at his blushing, squirming boyfriend.

"I- just- ugh-"  Kyuhyun stammers raking his free hand through his already messy hair.

"Are you okay?"  Siwon asks in a small voice staring forward as he presses on driving the remaining couple blocks to their house.  

"Ugh!  You're jumping to conclusions again!"  Kyuhyun grumbles wrenching his hand free so that he can cross his arms in a pout.

Coming to a stop in front of their house, Siwon parks the car and watches Kyuhyun get out, grumbling under his breath as he stomps to the front door only to realize that he needs Siwon to unlock it because he left his own keys inside earlier when they left.  

Following more slowly Siwon makes his way to the door and his boyfriend with a worried heart.  Kyuhyun can be moody and childish sometimes, but usually this only happened when he has something serious on his mind.  The other man isn’t good at expressing himself and often throws little temper tantrums when he doesn’t know how to say what he needs to, which was exactly what he’s doing now.  Finally reaching the door Siwon holds his keys in his hand but makes no move to open the portal, instead he leans both of his arms on either side of Kyuhyun's pouting frame leaning against the door jab.  

"Talk to me, Kyuhyun."  Siwon says in as close to a menacing voice as he can muster.  All it does is prove to make Kyuhyun even more riled up than before because he finds it to be incredibly and undeniably sexy. He groans in frustration.  

"Unlock the door unless you want the neighbors to see me jump you right here."  Kyuhyun says voice and eyes steady as he glares at Siwon who doesn’t seem to understand what Kyuhyun’s getting at.  

"Kyu-"  Siwon begins in an almost whiny voice, switching like mercury.  "I don't want you to be upset, whatever it is, we can talk about it."

Kyuhyun literally wants to face palm.  He doesn’t think he can get any more explicit than this but here he is with Siwon acting like a royal dumbass.  "I'm not upset."

"Yes you are.  I can see it in your face and in the way you hold yourself."  Siwon says backing up and putting on the sad face that makes Kyuhyun's insides clench with guilt every time he sees it.  "I just want to help."

"You always just want to help!"  Kyuhyun practically yells ignoring the guilt ripping through him.  "You are always too nice!  You don't ever want to do anything that might upset me!  Or push anything just in case I'm not ready!  I'm not made out of porcelain, Siwon!"

Siwon's eyebrows rise to mingle with his hairline.  "But I just want to take care of you."

"And you do!  You take such good care of me.  But now I want something that I don't know how to ask for and you're being too dense to pick up on my hints!"  Kyuhyun cries in exasperation arms akimbo.  "I've been trying to drop hints for weeks! Weeks!  But you just don't get it!  How is that even possible?"

"What do you mean?"  Siwon asks confusion written all over his face as if there’s no way he could have missed something like that.  "I'm confused, what are you talking about?"

"Can we just go inside before we continue this?"  Kyuhyun says sighing dramatically and crossing his arms again looking for all the world like a petulant child.

Siwon huffs a great sigh but undoes the lock and stands back to allow Kyuhyun to stomp inside.  Once inside Kyuhyun kicks off his shoes and makes his way toward the living room, always having found it easier to talk there.  Siwon closes and locks the door, trailing awkwardly in his boyfriend's footsteps.

"You're acting like a child, you know."  Siwon says letting the little spark of anger in him get the better of him.  "I don't care if whatever you have to say isn't eloquent, Kyuhyun!  I don't care if it sounds silly or whatever your problem is.  Don't you think it would be better if you just said whatever was on our mind?"

"Fine!  You want me to just say it?"  Kyuhyun yells spinning around chest heaving.

"Yes!  Why is that so hard for you?"  Siwon cries exasperatedly allowing his own hands to do a bit of flying about.  

"I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!"  Kyuhyun fairly screams at Siwon turning an alarming shade of vermilion as he slaps a hand over his mouth in horror over what has escaped.

"See that wasn't so hard now was it... wait... what did you say?"  Siwon says relief warring with confusion on his face as he stares at Kyuhyun in shock, having trouble believing what the other had just said.  "You... what?"

"I... Ugh!  See!  This is why I didn't want to say anything!  I didn't know how to say it and now whatever we do it will feel forced and... and... what are you doing?"  Kyuhyun rants, pacing back and forth, arms flapping angrily but he comes to an abrupt stop when he turns to find Siwon standing there, an intense look in his eyes.  "What are you doing?"

"I'm giving you what you want."  Siwon says voice low and deep as he reaches up and cups Kyuhyun's cheeks with his slightly rough hands.  

"Uh... Siwon?"  Kyuhyun says feeling nerves curl in his belly.  

"Yes, my love?"  Siwon responds gently.  

"W-what are you doing?"  Kyuhyun's voice is small, his eyes wide.

"I'm giving you what you asked for."  Siwon responds in a whisper leaning down to capture Kyuhyun's lips with his.  The kiss is sweet, gentle, everything that Kyuhyun has come to know and expect from Siwon.  Firm lips slide against Kyuhyun's more plush ones and the smaller man groans into his boyfriend's kiss for a moment before pulling away abruptly.

"Wait."  Kyuhyun pants, lips red and glistening.  "I don't want you to just do this because I want it.  This has to be something you want too."

Siwon huffs out an incredulous little laugh.  "Trust me, I want this too."

Those word shoot through Kyuhyun like lightning and he groans internally reaching blindly for the taller man so he can mash their lips together.  Siwon's fingers wind themselves into Kyuhyun's slightly curly brown locks, allowing the silky strands to slip between his fingers as he pulls the smaller man impossibly closer, melding their bodies together passionately.  

Siwon's tongue traces the seam of Kyuhyun's lips, waiting for the other to open up and grant him entrance before delving in, tracing teeth and contours.  Where Kyuhyun used to battle for dominance with Zhou Mi he easily gives in here, trusting Siwon to take care of him as he promises to please Siwon with his submission.  Pulling back Kyuhyun looks up at Siwon with heavy lusted eyes.  

"Bedroom."  He pants pushing the other in that direction so that they move together, awkwardly stumbling toward the bedroom while tugging at each other's shirts trying to get them off.  Siwon manages to remove Kyuhyun's but the other man is not so successful in his own endeavors.  "Ugh... your shirt... want it off… now."

Siwon does some groaning of his own as Kyuhyun's breathless words reach him between messy, wet kisses.  He peels his shirt off, not bothering to undo anymore than the necessary buttons before stripping it off over his head, chuckling lightly when Kyuhyun growls and starts plucking at his undershirt.

"Impatient aren't we, babe?"  Siwon teases breaking apart long enough to remove the undershirt before going right back to kissing Kyuhyun, letting out a quiet "umpf!" when they fall on the bed. He splays his large hands on Kyuhyun's stomach, pushing the smaller man back slightly so that they are forced to break their kiss.  "Slow down, Kyu, I want to make this last."

"No."  Kyuhyun says shaking his head.  "No, just want you, want all you, just you.  Right now."

Siwon feels heat pool in his stomach and his heart swells with love.  "And you will, but I'm gonna make sure you know only me for a long time, not just for a couple minutes."

With that the taller man flips them over, depositing Kyuhyun so that he is laying sprawled with his head on one of the pillows at the top of the bed, his thin chest rising and falling in anticipation as Siwon looks down at him.  

"You're so beautiful, Kyu."  Siwon breathes leaning down and pressing sloppy open-mouthed kisses to the side of Kyuhyun's neck, trailing them along the other man's shoulders and down his chest.  

"My scars aren't- aren't pretty."  Kyuhyun says as Siwon latches on to a nipple, teasing the tightening little bud with the tip of his tongue while letting his hands roam the skin before him, fingers feeling the difference between taught silky scars and the smooth satin of healthy skin.  

"No. No- Every part is beautiful."  Siwon whispers pressing sweet kisses to every scar he can see.  

Kyuhyun gasps as Siwon kisses the scars on his tummy, the muscles twitching from the tickling sensation.  "You're too perfect, you know that?"

Siwon grins, running his hands up and down the other's chest, feeling the dips and contours of muscle and bone.  "Is there such a thing?"

Kyuhyun chuckles at that but loops a hand behind Siwon's neck to pull him up for another kiss, melting into it as Siwon swirls his tongue around Kyuhyun's, sucking it into his mouth like it’s a rare and delectable treat.  Kyuhyun lets his own hands do a bit of wandering, ghosting over the taught muscles of Siwon's chest and stomach before reaching around to his back, raking his nails deliciously down the muscles there.  Growling low Siwon arches into Kyuhyun, breaking the kiss only to trail more kisses over to Kyuhyun's ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth so that he can nibble on it.  

Kyuhyun moans low, hips bucking in an attempt to find friction as his blood rushes south.  "Fuck!"

"Soon."  Siwon breathes letting a gush of hot air ghost over Kyuhyun's abused earlobe making the smaller man to shudder with want.

"I swear to God if you don't start getting this show on the road now I'll make you sleep on the couch for a week."  Kyuhyun grinds out through clenched teeth as Siwon begins to suck a spot on his chest just below where his shirt will cover.  "Gah!  S-stop teasing!"

Siwon chuckles but does as Kyuhyun asks, using his long fingered hands to skitter down to Kyuhyun's belt and work it open making quick work of the button and zipper underneath.  Arching his hips off the bed Kyuhyun aids Siwon in removing first his pants and then his boxers, his erection flipping up to lay flat against his stomach as soon as it’s free of its confines.  Plucking impatiently at Siwon's slacks Kyuhyun whines pathetically.

"Yours too."  Kyuhyun whines trying to undo the button with shaking fingers but failing miserably.  "Off... get them off..."

Feeling desire curl through him at Kyuhyun's impatience, Siwon quickly rids himself of the slacks, slipping the offensive fabric down his slender hips before kicking them off the bed entirely complete with his boxers.  Crouching back over Kyuhyun he presses a quick kiss to the other man's lips.  "Better?"

"Ugh... socks... so not sexy... no socks..."  Kyuhyun pants feeling completely strung out from the teasing touches Siwon keeps giving.  

"But you're wearing socks too!"  Siwon argues exasperatedly doing as Kyuhyun asked and shucking off the socks.  

"Make them go away too, then."  Kyuhyun groans dramatically throwing an arm over his eyes.  

Once the task is done Siwon starts with Kyuhyun's calf, kissing his way up the smaller man's leg.  He presses light kisses along until he reaches just above Kyuhyun's knee at which point he starts leaving open mouthed kisses, sucking the skin seductively as he makes his way higher and higher, reveling in the strangled sounds of pleasure escaping Kyuhyun's kiss swollen lips.  

When Siwon wraps his long fingers around Kyuhyun's hard member it’s all Kyuhyun can do not to howl with pleasure, instead he bucks upward trying to get that hand to do something, anything.  But Siwon isn’t done teasing.  Using his free hand to pin Kyuhyun's hips down he started dragging his hand, loosely circling Kyuhyun's length, up and then back down again at an excruciatingly slow pace.

"M-more!"  Kyuhyun cries thrashing his head back and forth trying to buck up but held by Siwon's hand.  

"Look at me, Kyu."  Siwon says starting to move his hand up along Kyuhyun's member again.  

Kyuhyun does as he’s told and immediately regrets it.  Siwon is staring at him with the most intense look in his eyes and then his head begins to lower, mouth opening the closer it gets to Kyuhyun's cock, and then he’s taking Kyuhyun in, never once breaking eye contact through the whole thing.  He sucks on the head of Kyuhyun's cock like it’s a lollipop, licking at the slit while provide sinful suction.  Once again Kyuhyun mewls and tries to buck into that warm heat but Siwon holds him down, slowly bobbing his head to take more of the smaller man in.  

"Oh!  Siwon!."  Kyuhyun chants the name like it’s a mantra, over and over again the deeper Siwon takes him, loosing himself in the feel of Siwon's lips on his dick.  And then he feels the head of his cock slide down Siwon's throat and he thinks he might choke from the pleasure racing through his veins like fire.  "Oh-  Oh-  S-siwon!"

Kyuhyun can’t hold himself back any longer, he cums hard in the other man's waiting mouth and watches as Siwon swallows, drinking down every drop before pulling away.  

"I'm so sorry, Siwon."  Kyuhyun pants nearly crying as he comes down from his high.  He feels terrible.  He had cum so quickly and he and Siwon hadn't even gotten to really having sex yet.  

Instantly alarmed Siwon is right there, petting Kyuhyun's sweaty hair from his face and staring into his eyes with concern.  "Why are you sorry?"

Crying in earnest now Kyuhyun blubbers,  "I shouldn't have cum, we haven't even been able to join yet, and you're still hard while I can't even hold back to wait for you-"

"Shhh... shhhh... I did that on purpose, Kyu.  It's okay.  I wanted you to cum."  Siwon says soothingly wiping Kyuhyun's tears away with the pad of his thumb.  "Don't cry, babe, the night is still young."  

"It's not okay-"  Kyuhyun sobs curling on his side sobbing into the pillow now.  Siwon sits there perplexed for a minute before it hits him.  

"Kyu?"  He says moving so that he is snuggled up to Kyuhyun's front.  

Sniffling Kyuhyun opens his eyes to look at Siwon whose face is filled with love, staring straight at him.  "What?"

"I'm going to bring up something that might upset you, is that okay, Kyu?"  Siwon asks caressing the side of Kyuhyun's face, feeling the wetness where the tears have left their salty tracks.  

"O-okay."  Kyuhyun nods eyes large with curiosity.

"Did Zhou Mi... did he used to make you feel bad when you'd cum before him?"  Siwon asks as gently as possible watching with a clenching heart as Kyuhyun just starts crying again, his tears answer enough.  "Hey, shhh... it's okay... I'm never going to do that to you.  There are no expectations, Kyu.  This is just me loving you.  I want you to feel pleasure and I want you to experience as much pleasure as possible.  If you are gonna cum then cum, enjoy it.  And when you are ready we'll take off again.  I like to get off just as much as the next guy, but I'm not gonna die if I don't get off right away.  I want to make love to you, not have some sick competition in the sheets of who can last longer."

Kyuhyun slowly looks up at Siwon with disbelieving eyes, huge with wonder.  

"Now, wipe your tears and let's get back at this."  Siwon says wiping at Kyuhyun's tears while simultaneously wrapping a leg around Kyuhyun so that he can shift back up onto all fours over the smaller man.  Grinning devilishly he speaks, "I'm nice, but I'm not a saint, and I do have a rather hard problem that needs taking care of."

Giggles escape at the last words and Kyuhyun thinks his heart might just burst from the feelings of love he feels for the man he is with.  

"Hmmm..."  Kyuhyun says cocking his head to the side.  "What did you have in mind to get rid of your... erm… problem?"

Siwon chuckles low and leans over to grab the dusty bottle of lube they deeps stashed in the nightstand just in case.  As he leans low Kyuhyun tilts his head up and flicked his tongue teasingly against Siwon's nipple causing the other man to jump and then hiss as pleasure lights his nerves.  Glaring at Kyuhyun he finally gets the bottle in his hands and settles back between Kyuhyun's now spread legs.  

"What?  You were taking too long."  Kyuhyun says making his eyes as wide and innocent looking as possible.  

"Too long, huh?"  Siwon says rubbing his now slick finger along the rim of Kyuhyun's hole, watching the smaller man clench his jaw to try and hold in his moans.  "Should I just keep doing this?  Does that feel good, Kyuhyun-ah?  I need to know if that feels good."

"Oh... just-"  

"Just-?  What?  Put it in?"  As he says the last bit Siwon pushes the slick digit in, relishing the long drawn out moan that draws out of Kyuhyun's mouth.  He works the finger in and out, listening to Kyuhyun's pants and pleas for 'more.'

He has three fingers buried to the hilt in Kyuhyun when he feels the other man tense, head thrashing against the pillows, a high thin keen coming from his mouth.  "Oh!  There!  Please, Siwon, there!"

Siwon grins at Kyuhyun's babbling but does as instructed, rubbing one of his fingers in small circles over the sensitive bundle of nerves, driving Kyuhyun insane with every touch and shock it sends through his body.  Seeing Kyuhyun like this, all sprawled out and beautiful, Siwon can’t take it anymore.  He needs to be inside the other and he needs it now.  

The cry Kyuhyun makes when Siwon removes his fingers makes his cock twitch in anticipation.  Slathering himself with the lube Siwon lines himself up with Kyuhyun's entrance and begins to push in, moving slowly so as not to hurt the smaller man.  He feels the tightness of the ring of muscles stretched over the head of his cock for a moment before velvety heat surrounded him, clouding his mind, making it so he can think of nothing but Kyuhyun and his tight heat.  

Burying his face in the crook of Kyuhyun's neck Siwon pants there, waiting for the other to adjust to his size.  After what feels like an eternity Kyuhyun starts rocking his hips, whimpering with pleasure each time Siwon's cock brushes that spot deep inside him.  "K-kiss me, Siwon."  

And he does.  They kiss as they rock together, swallowing each other's moans and cries of pleasure as their tongues dance in time to their gentle love making.  At long last Kyuhyun has to break off for breath, loving the way that Siwon peppers his face with kisses as he reaches down and begins to pump Kyuhyun's neglected cock in time with his thrusts.

"So close!"  Kyuhyun says panting into Siwon's shoulder.  

"Then let go, Kyu... cum for me."  Siwon says flicking his thumb over the tip of Kyuhyun's cock causing the smaller man to give up, his second orgasm hitting him like a freight train.  His mind goes blank as he shoots his load hard over Siwon's hand and both their stomachs.  Siwon groans at the feel of Kyuhyun's walls tightening down on him like a vice and just a couple of deep thrusts later he cums, painting Kyuhyun's insides white, marking him in the most primal way possible.  

Gasping and panting he collapses onto his lover and were Kyuhyun not so blissed out he would have complained at being squished beneath his much larger boyfriend, but at the moment he is too content to care.  He trails his fingers over sweat damp skin and through the soft strands of hair on the back of Siwon's neck, chuckling in contentment when the other man practically purrs from the attention.  

Turning his head Siwon captures Kyuhyun's lips in a lazy kiss, tongues dancing sloppily.   His now limp cock slid from Kyuhyun's hole with a somewhat less than romantic squelching noise but both men ignore it, choosing instead to focus on their breathing as they continue to kiss only breaking off when the need for air makes them lightheaded.  

"I love you, Kyu."  Siwon breathes caressing his lover's face and staring plainly into his eyes, the love he feels reflected clearly there.  

"I love you, too."  Kyuhyun says sleepily eyes fluttering closed.  

Siwon can’t help but stare at the way Kyuhyun's eyelashes fan out over his cheeks, so serene and beautiful in sleep.  He touches that face, fingertips lightly tracing the features of the man who has come to love him in return and he feels his heart soar.  He’s the luckiest man in the world.  It doesn’t matter what they had to overcome or how many temper tantrums Kyuhyun throws, he got the man of his dreams and he knows that that man feels the same way about him.  This is a reality that is palpable for both of them.  It’s real. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love.


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